DPSS02
RECEIPT #002
FILED UNDER: DINER-DPSS
DATE: 12/20/95
EMPLOYEE #35
Things have certainly… escalated… with the whole Satan S.U.C.K.S.S. thing. I’m not sure how they swung this, but our homeroom has been replaced every Wednesday with an “Anti-Satan Seminar” so we can learn how to protect ourselves from satanic influences. I… feel like this is not quite the separation of church and state our forefathers thought up. Though I guess they’re getting around it by making it “opt-out.” If you “opt-out,” you’re pretty much painting a major target on your back as some sort of Satan-worshipping pariah.
Besides being an opt-out program, it’s not directly about “Satan,” but more about spotting negative pop-culture influences that lead to violence and crime and refusing peer pressure. So far, we’ve covered how most Hollywood movies are actually indoctrination by some sort of shadow government. I’m not sure these moms have it all together. Then again, I suppose a lot of what we do is controlled somewhat by the seasoning industry. It’s just… weird. All of their points are really far off and based on some sort of weird, hysterical panic, but they also occasionally will say something that makes a little too much sense.
I was thinking about opting out because I value my free time and sanity. But it might be another way for us to keep tabs on what’s going on with the S.U.C.K.ers. I’ll start keeping track of all the weird things they say and if they seem to be sipping on more coffee than they should be. I feel like they have to be getting some coffee from Padre tax-free, but then again, if they’re just pretending to be ignorant, they should really move over to Hollywood. Oh! And the best news? The mom in charge of the weekly seminars is not Jan, proving at least to me that there is a God and He is good, so I guess whatever they’re doing is working.