ADD01

CAFE AND DINER RECEIPT

DATE: 6/06/16

BY A.I.

MR. LADOUCETTE CASE NO. 1

Alright, some sort of funny business is afoot, or should I say, awing? I know things being strange is sort of the point of our business, but this is especially strange. We did everything correctly with Mr. Perez’s service, but he still remains unsatisfied. The nerve! Though it’s not our good boy’s fault. No, I could never blame such a cute face. This is the work of an entirely different customer, someone who wants to undermine our service for Mr. Perez to keep him coming back for more. Last night, the only thing we really knew about this new mystery customer is that they like to hang out in the trees, and they have some sort of whistle.

That was more than enough to go off of, thankfully. Mama’s not afraid of climbing a few trees and tippin’ over a few bird nests in the search for the TRUTH! And the truth is exactly what I found! More or less, anyway. This new mystery customer of ours is more than likely an ornithologist of some sort, though he needs to spend some serious time looking in his own mirror first. Not only that, but this guy is also PACKING YE OL’ HEAT. He’s got a proper British chiv, he does.

Of course, our mystery man didn’t stick around to talk to me about why he kept bringing Mr. Perez back. The second he saw me comin’ at him, he flew the coop. FLEW IT. I feel like I’m killing this whole “Diner Speak” thing, by the way. Now, while I don’t know exactly who or what this guy is, I’m pretty sure he’s a full-on Canadian weirdo. The sword kind of gave it away. And while I didn’t get to ask him, I was able to put another feather in my cap, so to speak. A feather, which, maybe our beloved basement dweller, M.J., could do his nerd stuff to?

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