HGS01
Branch [Long Island]
Date [2021-02-17]
Server [Employee No. 53]
Beverage [London Fog]
File Reference [HGS01]
Yippie. New customer. ANOTHER London Fog drinker. Great. GREAT. Love that this is just our reality now. I’m getting so sick of customers ordering this damn drink… if I could take it off the menu, I would. Shut the whole book down. Bye-bye. The End. But of course, I don’t have the ink for that, and No. 7 has made her stance on “protecting sentience” or whatever very clear. I was with her when it was fun, wacky stuff like Apple Juice and Amazake. But this? This is nasty, horrible, grotty, lousy, vile stuff. To be clear.
So, anyway… MRS. VANDERDECKEN. Leedle-leedle-freaking-lee. At least, I think that’s who she is. She pulled up in the Hudson River in this massive ship. Not sure how I’m supposed to sell that to tourists, but I’m thinking… I don’t know… art installation? Social experiment? Something, something, light show. In any case, Mrs. Vanderdecken and her ship straight out of London have been causing weird lights, thick fog, and plenty of disorientation for the more touristy vessels.
And, since I have so gracefully opened this receipt, I will happily leave it to the professionals from here. No. 35, No. 611, or No. 1124 can flip through their creepy little book and figure out who Mrs. Vanderdecken actually is, and then the rest of you can go deal with her by whatever method it says to use. I’m done. I’m out. Call me when there’s a normal customer again, and I’ll be all over it. What I wouldn’t give for an OJ drinker—or, like, a nice, friendly Green Tea creature. Anything that doesn’t go bump in the night would be great.