TSS03
Branch [Long Island]
Date [2021-02-03]
Server [Employee No. 53]
Beverage [Citrus Tea]
File Reference [TSS03]
Oh, thank God. Or Bird. Or whatever. When I heard there were weird pale customers freaking out subway workers… Eugh. Look, I don’t like the London Fog drinkers—and I probably never will. But I’ll tolerate them to some extent in a well-lit and easily escapable area. I am not going down into some dark, creepy subway tunnel to chase after London Fog drinkers. That’s just not happening. But Mr. Wells? A weirdo who isn’t even our problem to deal with? Hell yes. I’m all over that. Plus, I can start brewing up some coffee for the tourists who ride the subway.
Speaking of things not being our problem, I got in touch with Pendragon’s Bistro. Luckily, there’s a little bookstore nearby that had a copy of The Croquet Player by Chatto & Windus, which I could… “borrow.” Look, I didn’t steal it or anything, but I may have knocked the value down a bit by… y’know… writing in it. Realistically, this is the Bistro’s fault for not just getting with the (somewhat behind the) times and installing a landline. Even we have a landline. I think we have a landline? No one ever really calls us, but that might just be because our little generic combination Cafe and Diner is mysteriously never open to tourists.
Lost my train of thought… Oh yeah! So, I defaced a book worth a few hundo-bucks in the name of reaching out to Nine and company. Someone named “Anthony” replied within minutes and said, and I quote:
“Dear No. 53 of the Café and Diner,
We have received no reports of [Mr. Wells] in New York in February 2021. It simply isn’t in any of our books. Perhaps your ‘barista equipment’ is malfunctioning? [Mr. Wells] will not be in New York until late 2030—if we make it that far. We have reason to believe we won’t. All good books must come to an end.
Yours pseudonymously,
Anthony of [Pendragon’s Bistro].”
And accented e? Really? Yuck. And to me, that’s a green light to go ahead and settle Mr. Wells’ tab in full. Or whatever you guys want to do.