CAD4-032
Barista: Julia Wandsun
Date: Dec-31-2019
Receipt: CAD4-032
Subject: Business as Usual
The pain is sharp.
Searing.
It started in my arm. Now it’s spreading—fire racing through my veins. I don’t know if I can breathe through it. But I have to.
I have to see this through.
I have to.
White Point is too quiet. Wrong. Hollow. Even with the others here, even with the murmured words of comfort and the shifting of bodies preparing for what’s about to begin, it feels empty. It should be empty. It shouldn’t feel like a graveyard. They should all still be alive and everyone should still be back at their Cafes. They should still be here.
I’m clenching my fist, pressing my nails into my palm. The pain in my arm is spiking, but right now I have to bite it back. Later. I’ll deal with it later. Right now, I have to stand. I have to be here. I have to face what I’ve done.
Because this? This was my fault.
No one says it. No one dares. They tell me otherwise. Julia, you didn’t cause this. Julia, there was nothing you could have done. But I know the truth. I know. If I had been stronger, if I had been faster, if I had just understood sooner, maybe—
No. There’s no maybe. They are gone. And I’m still here. And the weight of that is more than I can bear.
The service is starting.
I just have to get through this.
One moment.
One breath.
Then, later, I’ll deal with the pain.