AKN02
DATE: 6-6-2020
MANAGER NO. 2
FILE REFERENCE: AKN02
TOTAL: PRICEY
UNBELIEVABLE. ALREADY PILFERED? ALREADY STOLEN? What exactly am I paying you for? Oh—wait. I’m not paying you at all, am I? Not a dime. Though let’s not forget, I acquired the Cafe and Diner fair and square, and regretfully, you lot aren’t exactly turning a profit right now. Aren’t you supposed to be the most elite (and, might I add, affordable) band of morally gray misfits? The kind who would gleefully toy with the fabric of reality for a laugh and a cup of coffee? And yet—this is the result? Beaten to the punch? My, my. If I were paying you, I’d dock your wages.
But no matter. The path forward is obvious enough, isn’t it? Get my Antekey. Track down whoever took it, and take it back. Do whatever you must—lie, cheat, steal, torture, kill—until I have that shiny little crystal orb in my possession. We can’t exactly reach the End without it, can we? According to my sources on the inside, the Antekey was stolen about a week ago. Why they waited this long to tell me? Well, that’s a conversation I’ll be having with them, trust me.
I’ll help. To a point. I’ll poke around, see if anyone on my actual payroll knows anything useful. And if they don’t? Well, I may need to make some serious budget adjustments. In the meantime, don’t just sit there waiting for me to save the day. I bought a Cafe and Diner, and I expect it to run like one.
By the way, I already debriefed Zippity-Zero, and guess what? He’s clueless. Some “legendary” foresight he’s got, huh? Couldn’t even stop a simple Antekey heist from an endless night. Not many people could steal an Antekey out from under an Otherworldly ruler. Trust me—I’ve tried. So… the real question is: who outranks me in this twisted food chain? And what could they possibly want with a useless key? Well, useless in terms of monetary value, anyway. They have some sentimental worth. Cheap looking little things though, aren’t they?