C-CAD4-013
Barista: Amber Ingram
Date: Dec-7-2019
Receipt: C-CAD4-013
Subject: Business as Usual
The Agency just filed their post-cleanup report. I highly doubt anyone’s in the headspace to read it, so I skimmed the hell out of it. Most of it is the usual bureaucratic blah, blah, blah (“███████████ ██████████, ████████ ███████, ███████ ███████████”), HOWEVER, there were a few juicy bits buried in the fine print.
So, let’s break it down—Amber style.
First up: Some people in the Agency really don’t like it when █████ ██████ ██ ███ ██████ ████ ██████ ████████ ████ ████ ██████. ███ ██ “███’█ ████,” █ ████ ████████ ███ ████ ass █████.
█ █████ ██ ███ ████ ███ ████ ███, ███ ███’█ ████ ███ ███ ██████ "compromised operational integrity" █████ ██ █ ███ ██ ███ ████████ █████. ██ ████, ███████’█ ███ ██ █ ███, ███ █ ███ ████’██ ████████ ███████ ███ ████. ███ ████ ███ ██████ ███ ████—████, ███ ███ ██████ ███ █ ███ ██ █ ████ ██ ███ ███████, █████?
Second: In an effort to “solidify” our less antagonistic (lmao) relationship with the Agency, they’ve decided to loan (████: █████) an Agent at the Cafe.
And get this—he requested it.
Like, full-on, willingly signed up to work here. With us. Either he’s genuinely interested in slinging the beans, or ██’█ ███ ████ ███████ ████████ ███████.
The ████ ██ ███ man who bites ███ █████ ██ █ ██████ ████ ██████. ███ ████ ██ the geese is ███ ███ ████ ██ ███ ██████. Wink, wink.
Either way, we’ve got at least one new coworker incoming. No name yet, but I’ll be keeping an eye out. If anyone spots a guy with an Agency badge and a suspiciously high tolerance for our bullshit—congratulations, you’ve met our new plant.
I mean, teammate.
Make them feel warm and loved. And heavily, HEAVILY ███████.
And hey, maybe we could ██████████████ ███ █████ ████ █ ████████. █████. ██ █████ ███ ██████ █████ ███████ ██ ██████ ████ ████████ █████ ████ ███ ███ ██ ███ ████ ██████ ███.
Guess we’ll find out!
Decaffeinate Receipt
“Have you tried jj pggpajjjpape ddpeaa ppja jj padaajjaad pddajppe?”
Cipher | 1 Word