CADF08
NUMBER: CADF08
PRIORITY: DINER
DATE: 6-6-17
CUSTOMER & ORDER: STAFF MEMO
SERVER: PAYROLL
Ugh. Ok. Fine. I guess. I’ll do it, or whatever. I’ll be this Cafe’s 8. I don’t want to actually be 8, though, so I’m going to stick with the name Payroll, and I had better not hear any of you try and call me 8, got it? I’m a 10. Always. I don’t really think I have what it takes to lead, but I guess I’ve never been much of a good follower, either. And, if I’m in charge, then the Manager needs to stop his whinging and get on board already.
So… Ok. I’m in charge. Eugh. I hate typing that out. I genuinely don’t know why the Owner gave me an 1/8th to begin with. My brother and the witch with a capital b? Totally. They’re a bunch of nerds and dorks who love this kinda crap. And #71 made sense, too… And Lucy. Realistically, #71 and Lucy were co-owners anyway. Sara was a weird choice, but—I guess it worked out. And then I have no clue where the other two 1/8ths ended up. But I definitely feel like the black sheep out of the bunch.
And—look—I get it, Manager. I do. Do you know how much of this “Cafe Nonsense” I don’t actually like? A lot of it. We’re a Cafe formed to stop Umbra and his Dark-whatever. That’s our focus. But we’re also not going to ignore Customers who are looking for something sweet like Affogato or Mochas. So… here’s my code of conduct. Take it or leave it, but you kinda have to take it. Yuck. That totally sounded like the original Owner.
The Palm Beach Cafe and Diner’s Code of Conduct
I. When it gets Dark, the Cafe’s Lights will always be on.
II. All customers are welcome—even when we’re closed.
III. Affogatos and Mochas will always be served when possible.
IV. Late nights should be fun.
V. Comfort food will be plentiful.
VI. Voting is stupid. All in favor?
VII. Fast food, on occasion, can be quite the treat.
VIII. Hold nothing sacred.
IX. A little coffee in the Diner and a little toast in the Cafe never hurt anyone.
X. Eating your toast in the Diner and drinking your coffee in the Cafe is best.