OAA09
[BRANCH] LONG ISLAND
[SERVER] EMPLOYEE NO. 1331
[DATE] 9/22/22
[INDEX ID] OAA09
[SECURITY] DINER
'Sup, Cafe nerds. I’m sure most, if not all, of you already know me by now. Yesterday, I was Agent Maxixe of Division Tango. I was, more or less, the liaison between the Agency and the Cafe and Diner. I’m the one who’s been running the blog and decaffeinating things when necessary. So when I heard a position in the Cafe had opened up, I jumped on it. Why? Well, I’ve already spent the better part of five years crawling up from Y to T. So now it'd be from T to… I don’t even know, H? I? It’s a lot of letters to climb.
Just to be clear, progression in the Agency isn’t linear from Z to A. Tango is about as high as I could go before, I’d need to specialize in one of the J-S Divisions or finally bite the bullet and undergo H or I training. Then… another 10-20 years to maybe luck my way into a B-G position? Nah. That wouldn’t leave enough time to relax. Honestly, I’d rather just take a number that adds up all the same anyway.
Now, technically, only one position opened, and it went to No. 1223 since he’s about as close to No. 17 as humanly possible. But I was still on the short list. I mean, I’ve already been co-running the Archives backend with No. 62 since the Ampersand merger, I seem to have a knack for getting under No. 161’s skin, and I’ve known No. 35 since we were kids. Which, if you ask me, makes me a pretty solid fit for the Long Island Branch, don’t 'ya think? Sometimes I wish I’d quit the Agency back when you guys opened up, so I could’ve been there with you through the whole Lord of the Flies, Crows, and Sodomy Seeds thing. But hey, can’t really complain about the sweet A23 pension either.