CAD4-020
Barista: Katherine Wade
Date: Dec-23-2019
Receipt: CAD4-020
Subject: Business as Usual
Uhm. Hi.
I’ve spent the past few days—weeks? I don’t even know how long it’s been—thinking. Turning over every possibility, every fear, every doubt. Wondering if I’m making the right choice… if I even can make a choice like this. But in the end, the answer was right in front of me all along.
I talked to Jean-Marc, Julia, Jackie… even some of the other baristas over the weekend. I wanted to understand what this place really is—what it means to them. And I can admit it now: I’m out of my depth. This world—the coffee trade—it’s all so new to me. But then again, I was thrown into the deep end, wasn’t I? And the more I listened, the more I realized something.
I want to stay.
I don’t even know what I am anymore. I used to believe in things. I had faith. I prayed, I trusted, I followed the path I thought was meant for me. But if death doesn’t change a person, then what does? And if it does… where does that leave me?
I still don’t know where I fit in. But I do know that the Cafe is the only place that’s made me feel safe since… since waking up. Since becoming this.
You didn’t have to take me in. You didn’t have to be kind. But you were. You sat with me, talked to me, let me exist in your world—our world—even when I wasn’t sure I belonged in heaven or hell. And despite everything—the hunger, the confusion, the fear—I want to be part of this. I want to give that kindness back.
So, as of today, I’m officially a barista at the Cafe and Diner! I don’t know how good I’ll be, but I’ll try. I’ll make coffee, clean tables, be around people. I’ll do my best to be normal.
And I’ll help with the real work, too.
The Coffee Trade.
Because I want to be here.
I want to belong.